


Virulence

by StilinskiDreams



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Bromance, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Merlin, Hurt/Comfort, Illness, Merthur - Freeform, Poison, Protective Arthur, Worried Arthur, merlin whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-09-28 00:25:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17172347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StilinskiDreams/pseuds/StilinskiDreams
Summary: ***ON HOLD***“Merlin, can you hear me?”Merlin’s attention snapped back to Arthur’s worried face. “Sorry-”“Don’t apologize. Just tell me what the hell is going on!”Merlin realized he must look pretty bad for Arthur to be so worked up. He hoped he didn’t look as bad as he felt. His stomach was turning so violently that he was afraid he would be sick all over the king. He spent most of his available energy on making sure that didn’t happen because it was probably grounds for treason. It took him a moment to remember that Arthur had been saying something. Something about something being wrong-“Merlin!”His eyes snapped open. He hadn’t remembered closing them. He noticed that the king looked slightly panicked. That was strange.





	1. Chapter 1

“Arthur, this might be the worst idea you’ve ever come up with... and that’s really saying something.” 

Arthur rolled his eyes, making Merlin smile slightly. 

“Do you really think you have any business questioning my authority?” 

If Merlin didn’t know better, he would have thought Arthur was serious. “Yes, when you make plans that are most definitely going to get us killed!” Merlin sighed dramatically, and Arthur chuckled. 

“I told you, Morgana will never know that we’re coming. That’s why we didn’t bring the knights. This is a stealth mission. Now that I think about it, I’m beginning to question the reasoning behind bringing you along.” Arthur looked back and smirked as Merlin lead his horse on faster to catch up with him. 

“You would be dead by now if I hadn’t come with you,” the young sorcerer quipped and laughed as the king playfully slugged him on the shoulder.

“Alright, Merlin… keep telling yourself that.” They were each using humor to disguise the nerves the way they always did. The truth was, this mission could be deadly. At best, it was a (brave?) reckless venture that would ultimately be fruitless, and at worst they would be found out and probably be tortured for information until they begged for death. Arthur tried not to think about that part too much. He’d given Merlin the option of opting out like he usually did, but, not surprisingly, Merlin had insisted on coming along. Of course that didn’t stop him from complaining endlessly about it, though.

Merlin’s teeth were on edge. He didn’t know what in particular about this mission was making him jumpy, but he had a bad feeling about it. He didn’t want to turn back necessarily, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something they were missing. He understood the logic. They needed to know what Morgana was planning. They hadn’t seen any sign of her in far too long for it to be mere coincidence. So, secret stealth mission to overhear some evil schemes and then slip away unnoticed--perfect plan. The problem was, none of their “perfect plans” ever actually succeeded because Morgana was always one step ahead. Merlin glanced at Arthur and noticed the worry written across his features, despite his attempts to be his normal, pompous self. 

“Are you still back there? I think this is the longest you’ve ever gone without talking!” Arthur’s louder than necessary exclamation shook Merlin out of his thoughts.

“Sorry m’lord. Just trying to tune you out is all.” Merlin wondered when exactly he had gotten to the point in his relationship with Arthur where he made comments like that without a second thought. 

“Oh, my apologies. I should have considered the possibility that you have more important things to think about than the essential and highly dangerous mission you are currently on with the king of Camelot.” Arthur’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Merlin responded without missing a beat, “Alright then, I accept your apology.” 

Arthur glared at him as if he were debating whether to kill him right then or to wait until their journey had been successfully completed. “Perhaps you would be more useful as bait for Morgana’s men?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Who would clean your socks?”

“I would!”

“Please, sire. I’m trying to be serious. After all this is a very important mission.” 

Arthur laughed, and Merlin smiled, satisfied. Of course, the moment had to be ruined by six or so shouting men with swords and bows suddenly emerging out of the forest as if out of thin air. Arthur immediately dismounted his horse and jumped into action, taking out the first few fighters with a single swing of his own sword. Merlin quickly dismounted as well, eyes rapidly analyzing the scene for openings to utilize his special “skill” without being noticed, but Arthur was taking them out without any issue. It was too easy. Merlin stopped in his tracks when he locked eyes with someone all too familiar-

“Morgana.” Arthur beat him to the punch. 

Morgana smiled, but her expression was completely devoid of any kind of warmth or humor. “Hello, dear brother. What a pleasure it is to see you again.” She spat each word at him as he simply gazed sadly back at her. 

Merlin heard an impossibly quiet shuffling behind them and shifted his eyes slightly to discover a figure crouched slightly out of Arthur’s line of sight and aiming an arrow at the king. Merlin barely registered Morgana’s icy voice in the background as he instinctively jumped between Arthur and the hidden archer. By the time he moved, the arrow had already halved the distance between them, and Merlin only had a fraction of a second to change its course. Arthur spun around at the movement. Merlin mentally thanked the archer for sneaking up from behind so that Arthur and Morgana wouldn’t see his eyes glowing gold as the arrow slightly diverted to the right and away from his heart. Merlin yelped out of surprise more than pain when the arrow grazed his left arm. 

Merlin!” Arthur drove his sword into the offender's stomach and turned on his heels, ready to face Morgana. To his shock and Merlin’s, she was gone. “What the hell— Merlin, are you alright?” 

“Fine, it’s just a scratch. What happened? Where’s Morgana?” 

Arthur still looked stunned as he tried to think of an answer. “She just… left…” Merlin raised an eyebrow at him before he continued, “...we have to get out of here. For all we know she’s about to come back with twenty more men to finish the job.” 

They each mounted their horses, ignoring any supplies that might have been misplaced in the fight, and sped back in the direction they had come.

***

It had been about an hour. There was absolutely no sign that they were being followed which was almost worse than the alternative because the suspense was unbearable. They rode on until they were reasonably sure that they were out of harm’s way. Merlin was relieved when they finally stopped. Pain was starting to prickle in the back of his head, and he wasn’t going to say no to a break, even though they were still a few days’ ride from the citadel. He wondered why he was getting a headache. He reasoned it must be the heat or his growing hunger. He quickly set out to make a fire as Arthur cleaned his sword in a stream nearby. Merlin sat back against a tree and closed his eyes for a moment, feeling a bit dizzy. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” 

Merlin opened his eyes again to see Arthur suddenly next to him, eyeing him up suspiciously. “Of course, sire. Just tired.” 

Arthur didn’t look convinced. “Really?”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. “Yes… why do you ask?”

“You just called me ‘sire’ for the second time today.” 

“Would you like me to stop? If you prefer I could call you ‘twat’ or ‘clotpole’ instead,” Merlin offered, trying to distract Arthur from this line of questioning that was coming dangerously close to resembling concern. Merlin was surprised when Arthur didn’t respond. “Arthur? Is something wrong?”

“No, not at all. Just... “ Arthur paused, shifting uncomfortably. “I would thank you for jumping in front of me like that, but, judging by the tiny mark you have to show for it, I would have managed just fine either way.” 

Merlin chuckled. He appreciated Arthur’s gratitude, regardless of how weakly it was delivered. He knew it was hard for Arthur to be vulnerable like that. A sudden sharp pain in his stomach made him gasp, and Arthur donned that highly disturbing concerned expression again. Before he could say anything, Merlin jumped up and stated, “I’m starving. It’s about time for dinner, don’t you think?” 

Arthur made an affirmative noise and watched as Merlin walked back to the fire somewhat unsteadily. Arthur tried to push down the uncharacteristic worry beginning to bubble up in his stomach. Something was off. They ate relatively quietly, occasionally bantering back-and-forth. 

Merlin was growing steadily more uncomfortable in a way he couldn’t quite explain, but he knew that there was something wrong with him. He knew Arthur knew too, because he wouldn’t stop sneaking glances at him. It was unnerving for Arthur to look nervous. Merlin tried to write it off as stress, but by the time he tried to lie down and fall asleep, his head was pounding, and sharp pain had begun to spread throughout his body. Arthur settled in next to him (closer than normal, Merlin noted) and tried his best to fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

By the next morning, Merlin was struggling to hold down his breakfast as he led his horse along the rocky, twisting path in the forest. He was freezing despite the summer heat, and he couldn’t make his muscles relax. He’d hardly eaten, but he still had no appetite. His heart pounded at the smallest noise, and the further they rode, the more lightheaded he felt. He tried to ignore his physical discomfort and just focus on the trail ahead. He wanted to play it down for Arthur as long as he could; if Arthur knew, he would insist that they stop, and that couldn’t happen. The more distance they put between themselves and Morgana, the better, and once they got to Camelot, Gaius would surely be able to cure whatever was ailing him.

Arthur was growing more and more nervous. Of course, he would never admit it out loud, but it was true. As the hours went by, Merlin became quieter and quieter. Eventually, he was only speaking when Arthur spoke directly to him, and, even then, he would only give uncharacteristically short responses. Arthur didn’t push for more.

Hours later they made camp for the night. Arthur watched uneasily as Merlin barely touched his dinner. “Would you like some more food?” 

Merlin jumped, as if Arthur’s voice had shaken him out of a stupor. “Oh, no. No, thank you. I’m full.” Arthur glanced pointedly at Merlin’s nearly full plate, and he corrected, “I’m just not very hungry.” Arthur’s eyebrows raised a notch, and Merlin cleared his throat. “Is that all? I’m thinking of turning in early tonight.” 

Arthur blinked. “Yes, that’ll be all. Thank you.” Arthur had barely finished the sentence before Merlin was making his way to his bedding. 

Arthur decided to just go to sleep as well, despite it still being light out, but he wanted to check on Merlin first, even if it made them both uncomfortable. “Merlin?” There was no answer. Arthur looked over to see that his servant’s eyes were already closed. He was asleep. Arthur noticed his shivering and covered him with another blanket. He was too hot to want his anyway. He sighed heavily and laid down next to Merlin, knowing he wouldn’t be falling asleep anytime soon.

***

He was suffocating. The fire spread all around him, smoke clouding his thoughts and filling his lungs. He couldn’t breathe… he couldn’t see… he was going to die… he would never see his mother again… he would never see Gaius again… what would happen to Arthur… Where was he? Merlin tried to yell, but there was fire in his throat… He couldn’t do anything-

“Merlin. MERLIN!” 

Merlin jerked awake in a cold sweat, barely registering Arthur’s hands gripping his shoulders. Arthur’s piercing blue eyes studied Merlin’s as he tried to push himself up. 

“Merlin, tell me what’s wrong with you.” 

Merlin tried to make sense of his surroundings so he could give the king a proper response. They were in the woods. It was dark. They’d been traveling for a few days. They were attacked. Arthur took out Morgana’s men, and she vanished- wait. Why did she leave? She could have killed them right then and there. Why would she run off before even waiting to see if Arthur was properly killed? Why wouldn’t she want to finish the job? Unless… 

“Merlin, can you hear me?” 

Merlin’s attention snapped back to Arthur’s worried face. “Sorry-”

“Don’t apologize. Just tell me what the hell is going on!” 

Merlin realized he must look pretty bad for Arthur to be so worked up. He hoped he didn’t look as bad as he felt. His stomach was turning so violently that he was afraid he would be sick all over the king. He spent most of his available energy on making sure that didn’t happen because it was probably grounds for treason. It took him a moment to remember that Arthur had been saying something. Something about something being wrong- 

“Merlin!” 

His eyes snapped open. He hadn’t remembered closing them. He noticed that the king looked slightly panicked. That was strange. 

“Merlin. Stay awake. That’s an order.” 

At least some things were still normal, then. Merlin forced himself to speak. “I might be ill.”

Arthur sighed in exasperation. “I realize that. I need you to be more specific.” 

Merlin tried to ignore the nausea burning through his stomach. The world spun dangerously around him. “I think… I think I’ve been poisoned.” And with that, he blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I love Merlin!Whump so much?? I think I just like when Arthur is worried about him. Lots more to come!


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin’s eyes rolled back in his head, and Arthur caught his servant before he face planted in the dirt. 

“Merlin! Merlin?!” Arthur shouted, caught off guard. A million thoughts were spinning around in his head as he watched Merlin collapse into his arms. Poisoned? How could he possibly have been poisoned? Had someone tampered with their food? No, it couldn’t be that because Arthur felt just fine. Well, physically at least. What could it be then, besides- oh. Of course. The arrow. That was why Morgana hadn’t pursued them. She didn’t wait around to see what happened because her archer would make his mark either way, as long as Arthur was hit. Clearly she hadn’t expected Merlin to figure out what was going on and pull one of his self-sacrificing moves that made Arthur furious. 

He gently propped his unconscious friend up against a tree and ripped off his left sleeve. The skin around the cut had turned a sickly greenish color, and the cut itself felt like it was on fire. Arthur winced and pulled his hand back instinctively. He had absolutely no idea what to do. He determined that he must wake Merlin immediately, seeing as Merlin had basic medical knowledge, and his being unconscious upset Arthur more than he would care to admit. Arthur poured a bit of water on Merlin’s face, and the warlock’s eyes fluttered open.

“Arthur?” 

He was deathly pale and shaking, but the fact that he had woken up so quickly relieved Arthur to no end. 

“Of course it’s me. Who else would it be?” He tried to sound annoyed but didn’t remotely pull it off. 

Merlin looked up at him, a glint of amusement in his eyes. “You’re worried about me.” 

Arthur scoffed. “I’m worried that I’ll have to drag your dead weight all the way back to Camelot if you can’t pull yourself together.” 

Merlin laughed and then winced. Arthur grimaced, feeling a twinge of guilt. “What do we need for an antidote?” 

“I don’t know...”

“Come on, Merlin-”

“Arthur. I really don’t know. I don’t know what the poison is. I don’t even know for sure that it’s poison.” 

Arthur’s heart sank. “Then what do we do?” 

“We get back to Camelot, quickly.” 

“You can’t possibly travel like this-” 

Merlin cut him off again. “I’m going to have to.” 

Arthur frowned. “There’s really nothing we can do? No herbs or anything?”

Merlin looked resigned. “I don’t-” he cut himself off when he suddenly pitched to the side and vomited on the dirt, and, he noticed with an embarrassed wince, on one of Arthur’s shirts as well. He cringed and tried to speak between gasping breaths, “S-sorry…”

Arthur’s eyes widened, and he jerked back in surprise. “It’s fine. You can clean it later.” He reached out to steady Merlin, who suddenly looked as though he might nod off again. Merlin’s eyes came back into focus, and he glanced up at Arthur, looking ashamed. The guilt in his eyes made Arthur want to punch someone in the throat. 

“I’m sorry, Merlin. That arrow was meant for me.” 

Merlin smiled weakly. “You really have to be the center of attention, don’t you?” 

Arthur frowned as Merlin began shivering more violently. “Merlin-”

“It’s alright, Arthur. Not your fault.” 

Arthur felt a lump forming in his throat, but there was no way in hell that he was going to start crying in front of his servant. “Tell me what to do.” 

Merlin got that mischievous glint in his eyes again. “Never thought I’d hear you say that.”

Arthur was growing frustrated, but before he could say anything, Merlin added, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t know. I wish I did.” Merlin could feel his magic attempting to heal him, but whatever that arrow had been laced with was incredibly potent. He could feel his magic bubbling up in his stomach and then receding just as swiftly. He prayed that he wouldn’t accidentally reveal himself in his incoherence. He wished he was just being stubborn, but he genuinely did not know what to tell Arthur. His brain was foggy, and he couldn’t seem to find any solutions hidden in his mind. Gaius would know. Gaius always knew. They’d have to get to Camelot in time for him to have a chance, though, and Merlin wasn’t totally confident that they would. He wanted so badly to sleep, but he tried to stay awake for Arthur’s sake. He clearly wasn’t trying hard enough, though, because he soon felt more water splashing onto his face and grudgingly opened his eyes.

“I ordered you to stay awake. Remember?” Merlin’s eyelids fluttered as he struggled to keep them open. “Mm hmm.”

“Maybe for once you can actually do what I say?” 

Merlin smiled inwardly. He was touched that Arthur cared so much about his well-being. It wasn’t that he hadn’t known before, but Arthur didn’t usually express it so openly. Of course, the reason Arthur was expressing it was because Merlin looked terrible. Arthur took off his coat and wrapped it around his shivering servant. 

Merlin looked at him incredulously. “That’s... romantic.”

“For the love of god Merlin, shut up.” In all honesty, Merlin shutting up was the last thing Arthur wanted at the moment, but it was easier to pretend that the opposite was true. 

Merlin just smiled shyly and took several deep breaths. “I would love to, but you won’t let me sleep.”

“For good reason.”

“Still, I can’t stay awake but also not talk.”

Arthur laughed. “I’ve noticed.” 

Merlin’s expression became more serious. “Listen, Arthur-” 

Alarms went off in Arthur’s head, and he immediately knew that he didn’t want to hear what Merlin was going to say next. Without thinking, he blurted out, “I swear, if you say anything related to death in any way you’ll be made court jester the moment we return to Camelot.” 

Merlin opened his mouth again, and then closed it. He looked at Arthur for a long moment before speaking again. “Could I have some water?”

Arthur blinked in surprise. “Oh… yes. Yes, of course. Here...” 

Arthur handed Merlin the water skin, and Merlin struggled to hold it up in his shaking hands. He knew he should just let Arthur hold it for him, but he refused to be completely helpless. 

Well, at least, not until he had no choice.


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur didn’t try to sleep. He sat awake for hours and tried to adjust his eyes to the darkness so he wouldn’t need to start a fire. Merlin was now pouring sweat despite the cool night air, and Arthur feared that he was running a fever, although his skin felt cold and clammy to the touch. He was sleeping restlessly, often groaning or gasping or even jerking around as if he were having more nightmares. Arthur hated watching, but he didn’t want to wake him. He wanted to keep traveling as quickly as possible, but he couldn’t know how much the movement would worsen Merlin’s condition. He tried to wrack his brain for any knowledge of poisons, but he couldn’t come up with anything. He never had to worry about things like this because Merlin was always there when one of the knights fell ill or was wounded in a fight. Arthur cursed himself for failing to tell anybody about their mission before they left. He should have listened to Merlin in the first place. He glanced over to his servant again. He was too still. Arthur bolted upright and felt for a pulse and breathed a sigh of relief when he found one immediately. Merlin must not have been sleeping very deeply because the soft touch was enough to wake him up.

“Arthur?”

“I’m right here. How are you feeling?” 

Merlin closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again, slowly. He looked up at Arthur dazedly but didn’t say anything. 

Arthur tried again. “...Merlin?” 

“Arsenic or nightshade.” 

Merlin’s voice was raw and rough. Arthur took a moment to process what he said and shuddered involuntarily at the names of the two very deadly substances.

“The poison? Are you sure? How do we know which one it is?” 

Merlin blinked slowly, trying to gather his thoughts. “Symptoms… similar… the only-” Merlin stopped speaking suddenly and tensed, bringing a hand to his head.

“Merlin?” Arthur reached out to steady him.

“M’fine, just dizzy.” 

Arthur didn’t believe him but didn’t press. “You were telling me about the poisons?” 

Merlin sat up and looked around as if suddenly remembering where he was. “Do I have a fever?” 

Arthur put a hand on Merlin’s forehead. It was sticky with sweat, but still cold and clammy. “I don’t think so.”

“Pupils dilated?” 

Arthur checked, trying to ignore the pain in Merlin’s eyes. “No.” 

Merlin nodded matter-of-factly. “Arsenic then.” 

Arthur grimaced. “Are you sure?” Merlin nodded again, tiredly this time. “What do we do?”

“Medicine. Need medicine.”

“Something I can find? Herbs?” Arthur sighed anxiously when Merlin shook his head.

“Gaius.”

“Is there anything we can do right now?” Arthur had long since dropped the apathetic pretense and didn’t care if Merlin saw how upset he was. 

Merlin cleared his throat. “Water. Lots of water.” 

Arthur nodded and brought the water skin up to Merlin’s lips, and he drank. Arthur helped him lean forward until he was done.

“Merlin?”

“Mmhm?” 

“Why didn’t you know earlier? About the poison, I mean. You said yesterday that you didn’t know.” 

Merlin sighed and looked up at him. Arthur couldn’t read his expression. “There’s another symptom. It can come and go.” 

Arthur looked at him expectantly until he continued. 

“Confusion. Uh, and sometimes…” he paused and took a deep breath before hesitantly continuing, “...uh, delirium.” 

Arthur’s eyes widened. “Delirium!?” 

Merlin nodded soberly. 

“And you’re feeling it already?” 

Merlin shrugged. “Barely. I just couldn’t think clearly yesterday, and I keep forgetting where I am…” 

Arthur swore. Merlin raised an eyebrow at him.

Arthur cleared his throat. “Sorry…”

“Who would’ve thought that the King of Camelot had such a foul mouth?” 

Arthur chuckled. Merlin’s gaze lowered. “Listen, Arthur. I’m probably going to forget what’s going on. I’m probably going to have… hallucinations… or, uh, I might stop making sense. No matter what, just keep traveling, alright? Even if I ask you to stop. Just ignore me if I start... talking nonsense.” 

Arthur shifted uncomfortably on the ground, avoiding Merlin’s eyes. “It’s alright. I’ve been doing that for years already.” 

Merlin smiled slightly. “We should probably get some sleep.” 

Arthur sighed and tried to relax. 

Merlin laid back against the tree, too dizzy to lie flat on the ground. He glanced at Arthur, who looked like he hadn’t slept in a week. Merlin was shuddering violently, and he couldn’t make it stop. He was terrified. Not of pain, or even death, but of his own mind. What would happen if he forgot who he was? Who Arthur was? His mother? What if he accidentally revealed his magic to Arthur? Merlin squeezed his eyes shut and winced as pain shot out from behind them. He almost didn’t want to fall asleep because he knew what awaited him if he did. Exhaustion had taken control of his decision-making, though, and he soon drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it's been so long!

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this fic for roughly one million years, and I finally decided to post the first chapter. I currently have about 4 or 5 more, but I'm not sure how I'm going to end it. Lots of angst to come, that's for sure. What do you think so far?


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